I don’t know about you, but I certainly never pictured motherhood as a lonely place. I had images of play dates, a village of mom friends and a supportive family network to help me and my children grow into amazing people.
If that is the image of your life, I am not jealous or envious. I encourage you to dive deeper into that connection you have because it is rare and special beyond words.
But, if you find yourself feeling a little underwhelmed at the lack of friendships, family support or overall connection in this world of motherhood, I encourage you to keep reading. I’ve identified five ways to help you connect with other moms locally and around the world.
Find places where Moms congregate
It sounds obvious, but if you want to make mom friends, you’ve gotta go where the moms are! If you are looking to connect with moms in your community or town, you can do a quick Google search for “Mom meetups in __” or “groups for new moms in ___”. This will give you a starting point to look for what types of groups may be available in your town.
Another great option is story time at your local library. Most libraries have events each week for the smallest babies up to preschool age. If you go regularly, there’s a chance you may see the same moms each week. Familiarity may make it a bit easier to strike up a friendship.
- Here are some other suggestions for groups that may or may not have local chapters in your area:
If you’re not quite ready to take the leap and meet new mamas in person, you can go the online route. This allows you to connect with other moms all over the world, not just in your hometown. Facebook is one of the most popular forums for “moms groups” online. You can type in criteria like “Moms of Twins” or “Moms who run” or “Moms of babies born in 2017” to find a group that meets your needs. But, buyer beware, not all mom groups are the same. You’ll likely have to join and leave quite a few before you find a place to call home. Though we’re all on this journey of motherhood together, we don’t have to ride with someone who doesn’t mesh with our style.
Not on Facebook? Try these apps for another twist on finding mom friends:
Put yourself out there
To make connections and build friendships, you’ve literally got to put yourself out there. You’ve got to find the play dates in your area and actually go! You’ve got to attend meetings where moms are likely to congregate. You’ve got to find the Facebook groups that pique your interest and post/comment in those groups.
Just like anything that’s new, it’s going to feel super scary. I know, I’ve felt that feeling MANY times. But, once you get past that initial feeling of discomfort, you may find that you really enjoy the company of this new group of parents. In order to connect with other moms, be vulnerable and put yourself out there. Physically and mentally.
The more you get out of the house and into places where other moms are likely to be (even Target counts), you’re more likely to find a person or group of people you resonate with.
If you’re not ready to take the steps into public meetings just yet (#introver4life over here), actually get involved in your Facebook groups or other mom forums, like BabyCenter, to strike up conversations with other moms. Ask questions about what’s going on in your life like “Is it normal for a baby to poop this much?” and you’ll get tons of feedback. Some may be unwanted, but you never know if you might be able to strike up a friendship over poop.
Make the First Move
Have you ever met someone and said “Hey, we should hang out more often!” and then it never ACTUALLY happen? Yeah, me too. I’ve made lots of acquaintances and would love to get to know them better, but my brain talks my heart out of actually doing it.
If you and a mom friend have enjoyed each other’s company during the play date, meeting, or casual interaction at Target, MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. She’s probably wants to have more friends too, but she’s just as frazzled, nervous, distracted, etc. as you are.
Someone has to take the initiative to start a conversation.If you see another mom at a play date that is handling herself with grace and composure while her kids are having an epic meltdown, you might want to be her friend. But, your head is telling you that she’s too cool and your too much of a hot mess for it to EVER work out. If you NEVER say “Hello,” you’ll never know. Gather up all the courage you can muster and give her a compliment. She’ll likely blow it off, like most moms do, and you’ll be able to strike up a conversation with her.
Be Specific (Make a Plan)
Set a date, ask for her email address or phone number so you can get in touch later. Make a plan to follow up instead of saying “Well, I hope to see you next time,” because inevitably you will forget the next scheduled meeting or she won’t be there. It may be three months before you run into her again. Take advantage of the moment NOW!
If you don’t hit it off with the first mom, or second or seventh, don’t give up. It may take several attempts and fails before you find the person or people that most resonate with you. If you’ve reached out to someone and they don’t respond, try your best not to take it personal. If she’s anything like you, she’s probably running around like crazy, trying to do everything with the 24 hours she’s been given. Try reaching out to her again for another play date, Mom’s Night (Day) Out, or just a text conversation.
If that friendship doesn’t pan out, keep trying. There are countless other moms out there who are looking for the friendship you have to offer. Keep being the best you that you can be. Keep putting yourself out there.
Don’t let this motherhood journey get you bogged down. I’ve curated a series of affirmations for moms like us who need a boost of confidence in their daily lives. These free printable cards are great reminders to place on your bathroom mirror, by your desk, on the refrigerator or where ever you want to place them. Click HERE to download your copy today!