Think back to life in the B.C. era (before children). Were you a perfect parent? I know I sure was.
I had lofty dreams of all the things my newborn son and I would accomplish while on maternity leave. We would relax in the mornings, go to the pool in the afternoon and then come home each night and have dinner ready before my husband arrived home.
Let’s all take a moment to laugh at my naivety.
Though my son was born in the middle of summer, his toes didn’t touch a body of water other than our bathtub until he was walking. Most of the other plans I had in mind for my maternity leave and life as a new mother never came to fruition either. Instead, we spent mornings learning how to breastfeed and battle cracked nipples, thrush and lots of pain. We dealt with insurance that didn’t want to cover charges for my hospital stay. We stayed holed up in the house, except for occasional visits to Target or the pediatrician. And we had takeout. Lots of takeout.
As a Mom-to-be, we think about all the hopes, dreams and goals we have for our children and ourselves as parents. Maybe we want to continue traditions carried out by our parents or maybe we’re striving to do a complete 180 degree turn from our childhood. Neither option is wrong in many cases. But, we often look back and see that our reality looks nothing like the ideals we created in our head way back when.
It’s easy to get caught up in the picture perfect Pinterest images of motherhood we see all over social media. We look at all the pictures our other Mom friends are posting at playdates, the adorable Valentine’s craft their two-year old created “all by himself” or the drool-worthy Instant Pot recipe you saw in a Mom group on Facebook.
If you are one of those Moms who does all of those things and still manages to make it to bedtime without snot on your sleeve, you are my hero. Seriously. I have dreams of making crafts with my three-year-old, but my anxiety making craft time stressful for everyone involved. My Instant Pot recipes NEVER look like the photographs (but they MOSTLY taste okay). And, playdates? Yeah, the number of Mom friends I have on the internet and in real life are DRASTICALLY out of balance. I could count on my right hand the number of play dates we’ve been to in my son’s 3.5 years.
For the longest time, I thought I was the only mother who didn’t have her stuff together. Everyone else looked perfectly coiffed, their kids wore matching clothes (without stains) and their minivan or SUV was spotless.
Social media and the whole internet can be so isolating. But, at the same time, it can also show you a village of people JUST LIKE YOU.
If you’re one of those hot mess moms, know that you’ve found your village. I’m just as lost as you are most days. My leggings most definitely have baby snot on them. My Honda Pilot has more goldfish crackers than the jumbo sized box from Costco. And, my house pretty much always looks like there someone dropped a lego factory in my living room. Nonetheless, my kids are fed, we laugh a lot and we make it to bedtime with minimal tears (some days).
What are some of the ways you were going to be a perfect mom in that B.C. world?
